I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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