reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
