sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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