Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
