I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
