franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
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Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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