I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
