her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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