a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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