I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
