all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
