I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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