Welp...herpes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
