u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
