reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize