porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
