i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
