She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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