why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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