guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.