It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
