I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Its about making memories worth repressing
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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