it was like his penis was on wheels.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
