I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
