Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize