This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
