I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
