needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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