I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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