is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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