..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
