How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize