So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize