The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
