Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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