And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
