awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
