i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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