I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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