I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
