Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
