There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
