one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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