whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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