I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
