Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
