She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize