Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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