i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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