Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
