btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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