It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
