Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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