I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize