why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
