Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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