you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He better not be in your backpack
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
