"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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