I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
