white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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