my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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