if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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