I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think your dad took our porno
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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