do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
