i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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