i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
